Engaged! Now What? Part 4

No jumping ahead! If you haven't read Part 1 (the glow), Part 2 (the when), Part 3 (the how much), go back!

OK. Now that you know how much you have to spend, now what?

The guest list could be another tough item to tackle, although it doesn't have to be that way (oh did I mention that most of the difficult tasks happen up front?) My hubby and I hammered out our guest list in about one hour! We gave our parents guidelines on whom they could invite and they obliged, which helps a lot.

• With your budget in mind, come up with the number of guests you could comfortably host.
• Then, both of you make a list of people you want to invite. I would also ask your parents as to who they want to invite. Afterall, my parents had friends they had known their whole adult lives and have also known me since I was a thought in my parents' mind. They are almost family!
• Now if this master list of guests has a higher count than your ideal numbers, start trimming. This is where it gets tricky. You need to set some rules for yourselves on whom to keep and whom to cut. Some advice I had given in the past:
• Joe Smith and Guest. Only invite significant others that a) you know the name of; b) your friend is married to; or c) you've met. The only except I would make is for the wedding party. The way I rationalize it is that why should I pay $100+ per person for someone I don't know.
• Your colleagues. If you invite one, do you have to invite them all? I say, if you hang out with them outside of work, then you can invite them. The only exception I would make is for your bosses.
• Your parents' guests. The conversation with both sets of parents has to happen, like it or not, sooner rather than later. You might need to give them a limit on how many tables they can have.
  
• Kids - Maybe you want an adult only reception. Maybe only relatives can bring kids. There might be people who won't come unless they can bring their children. This one is tough.
  
• Be realistic about your invitees. When was the last time you had contact with someone? How close are you to them?
  
• OK. THIS IS YOUR LIST. That's right. One list. No A list, B list, C list. If people didn't make it onto your A list, they know. I've been on a B list before and I could tell based on how late I received the invitation.

Always a Bridesmaids blog has a helpful entry on what to do with a growing guest list caused by others and how to handle sticker shock.

We're off for the weekend to work at an event but will be back Monday to discuss finding a venue!

Engaged! Now What? Part 3

Go back and read Part 1 and Part 2.

Now that you've thought about when you want to get married, now what?

Let's talk about budget. Yes. That's right. Budget. No - you are not allow to jump ahead and start searching for the perfect venue or the dream dress. Sorry! Nobody likes to talk about money but setting up a budget is the basis for planning a successful wedding and for setting the boundaries for all the decisions you are about to make during the planning process. There are lots of articles on this topic like this one so I'm just going to highlight a few here.

Research
You need to educate yourselves to get a grasp on how much a wedding would cost in your area. As the standard of living varies from state to state, so does the cost of having a wedding. Here is a nifty calculator that gives you an idea of the cost by zip code. (It says the average in my zip code 22213 is $65k). Here is a blog entry on what costs to consider for each element of a wedding. You can also start researching vendors you like online and some will have their pricing listed. There is also nothing wrong with asking your married friends if you are comfortable about it.

Sources
Once you have an idea of how much things will cost, look at your personal finances to see if what you have in mind is doable. Also, it is important to establish early on who will be contributing, for how much, and towards what item. Although this is often an uncomfortable conversation to have with your family, it is much easy to talk about now than later in the game. The Always a Bridesmaid Blog addresses how to approach the subject with your parents.

Prioritizing and Managing (basically, what this whole planning process is all about)
When you have determined how big of a pot you have to work with, now prioritize each element of the wedding. List the top 3-5 items and rank them in order of importance. For example, my hubby and I wanted a venue close to our house but had a unique quality about it so venue was our #1, followed closely by catering since we love to eat. Knowing your priority, you can start assigning budgets to each item with those ranking highest in priority getting the bulk of your budget. You can find various tracking tools online on wedding websites and even at Microsoft templates. Be sure to account for all the little things people tend to forget about because they will add up. In one of last week's Washington Post business section, Michelle Singletary, the author of the weekly column The Color of Money, wrote Your Big Fat Foolish Wedding about dealing smartly with your wedding budget.

Well, it's no fun to have a party with nobody to party with! Tomorrow, we'll discuss the dreaded guest list!

Engaged! Now What? Part 2

Back up if you missed Part 1.

Now that you are sufficiently basking in the glow of your engagement (yay!), are you sick of the twenty questions your friends are asking you about the wedding?

Now what?

Let's talk about when you will have the wedding. There are many factors to consider here.

• Are there personal events you need to work around? For example, I had several clients who were graduating or starting graduate school so they had to work around the academic calendar. This was the case for me. I was starting business school in September and knew that I wanted to have the wedding before school started.
• Do you have a job that is seasonal and is extremely busy during a certain time of the year?
• Are there cultural issues to consider? In the Chinese culture, engaged couples consult a calendar of dates based on their birth dates to determine an auspicious date to wed. Hence, I got married on a Saturday in July.
• Have you always dreamt of having an outdoor wedding under a tent? I don't need to tell you about the heat and humidity in the DC area during the summer months. Spring or fall might be a better time for an outdoor celebration.
• Not too picky on a date? Having everything indoors? Consider getting hitched in the slower months like January-March and July-August. Venues often have discounted rates during these months.
• Have many out-of-town guests? Wouldn't it be nice to have it over a holiday weekend so that your guests can enjoy all that the DC area has to offer? Think twice. Air travel prices are usually and some hotel rates are higher during holiday weekends. Some wedding professionals charge more for holiday weekends as well, especially during Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. Be careful choosing a wedding date during holy days like Easter as churches will have a lot going on at that time.

Once you have narrowed down the time frame, I would suggest you run it by your immediate families and even your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Now, choose a few dates.

Now you know the when, let's figure out the where. Stay tuned tomorrow on finding your ideal venue!

[photo from brides.com]

Engaged! Now What? Part 1

I met at bride at Brides Against Breast Cancer Gown Sale on Friday who had just gotten engaged the previous Saturday and she was already there trying on dresses! That got me thinking to post some quick tidbits for you newly engaged! (Congratulations, by the way)

So now what??

Step 1: Enjoy being engaged! After years of dating, it's now your turn! All those times you oo'd and ahhh'd over somebody else's engagement ring and aww'd over how the guy proposed, now you'll know what it feels like! But seriously, what's the hurry in starting those wedding plans? I actually hated this part. My hubby and I had been dating for 6 years. We had worn out our friends who kept asking us when we were getting married that they just stopped asking. When we got engaged, there was no big proposal. We just decided it was time to throw a big party! So when I started sporting my engagement ring, I just dreaded having to say that I didn't have a cool proposal story to tell. However, I did love showing off my engagement ring! :)

Relax! Soak it in! And if you are itching to start planning, I'll share Part 2 tomorrow.

Fuschia & Orange: Inspiration from the Oscars

Last night at the Oscars, Elton John hosted a fundraiser for his AIDS Foundation. If you are thinking about a bold, vibrant color scheme, here is a good example of fuschia and orange with an accent of gold. There are some design tips of note here.



eaTip #1: Don't confuse your guests. It appears that the planners used table numbers to guide the guests. Yes, I know it's all the rage to use table names with places you've been or the word love in 10 different languages. However, I would say that you reserve this method of personalize your event if you have 10-12 tables or less. More than that (and at this party, looks like they had upwards of 40 tables), it would be super inefficient and confusing for your guests to find table "Amore." There is nothing wrong with doing regular table numbers but maybe you can embellish it with color from or a motif you used for your event.


eaTip #2: Keeping it uncluttered. Every table had one medium arrangement of orchids with gold-rimmed dinnerware with the favor right on the napkin and a menu tucked in the napkin. That's it. No thousands of candles, bulky favors, extra doo-dads. See! You don't have to clutter up a tablescape with tons of stuff to make it beautiful. (My personal test is that there should be enough room on the table for me and the other female guests at my table to put their tiny, useless but gorgeous, evening bag on the table!)

eaTip #3: The biggest bang for your buck. In my review of Sarah & Jordan's wedding, I wrote about spending your money on the things that will make the most impact visually. Look at the impact of renting these bold colored tablecloths and chaircovers! I bet when you walked into that room, you get wow'd by the jolt of color! Note that they are using simple white hemstitch napkins. Plain white napkins. It works to calm the color down a bit.

2008 Wedding Trends

So I've been scouring the internet to see what's hot for 2008. Here is what I've found:

The Knot's 2008 Wedding Trends

Beauty & Fashion

• Rent your look - Rent a pair of Vera Wang diamond and pearl-studded earrings or a Judith Leiber jeweled-encrusted clutch.
• Double Your Pleasure - 2 dresses, 2 hair-dos, 2 design looks.
  
• Heirloom rings.
• Vintage dresses
• Steel gray replacing chocolate brown.

Receptions

• Lush & Luxe inspired by Marie Antoinette era style.
• Cover bands - Yes. Cover bands.
• Green weddings.
• Home Weddings.
• Tasting bars of the food and liquid kind.
• White. White. White.

Going Hi-Tech

• Going digital - couples are using blogs, wedding websites with pools for music, cake flavor, etc.

Travel

• Destination Weddings.
• Honeymoon hopping: multiple destinations, longer & further trips

2008 Wedding Trends from Nina Callaway on About.com

Fashion & Beauty

• Yellow - All over the spring 2008 runways.
• Silver and other metallics.
• Bold Color - think Jewel tones but in small dozes.
• Dresses emphasizing the waist

Receptions

• Green Weddings
• Fabulous Invitations - letterpress is hot.

Pantone 2008 Colors

The Pantone 2008 Color of the Year: Blue Iris

"From a color forecasting perspective, we have chosen PANTONE 18-3943 Blue Iris as the color of the year, as it best represents color direction in 2008 for fashion, cosmetics and home products," explains Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute®. "As a reflection of the times, Blue Iris brings together the dependable aspect of blue, underscored by a strong, soul-searching purple cast. Emotionally, it is anchoring and meditative with a touch of magic. Look for it artfully combined with deeper plums, red-browns, yellow-greens, grapes and grays."

Below are the Spring 2008 Pantone Colors!

According to the report, the spring '08 palette is defined by classic, versatile neutrals punctuated by splashes of invigorating brights, empowering consumers to explore new and creative ways to combine colors.

Variations on popular colors such as energizing red, cool, waterborne blue and eco-friendly green also play a key role this season.

"The spring '08 color palette perfectly reflects the cheerfulness of the season," said Leatrice Eiseman, executive director of the Pantone Color Institute. "Stabilizing neutrals combined with pops of brighter colors to create unique, distinctive looks are the basis for a great spring and summer wardrobe."

Vibrant Snorkel Blue, a favorite this season among designers, is a dependable navy, but with more animation and sophistication. Warm, cheerful Freesia is an uplifting and inviting color to which people are instinctively drawn. It is also a color that allows for diverse accessorizing opportunities in jewelry and shoes. Brighter reds are consistent favorites in spring, and provocative Rococco Red is an exciting, attention-getting classic. The deep pink undertones of flowery Spring Crocus make it among the prettiest, most wearable purples.

Revitalizing Daiquiri Green, a brighter version of the popular earth-tone yellow-greens naturally associated with eco-awareness, is a refreshing complement to the coolness of Pink Mist. This delicate, subtle pink with blue undertones pairs perfectly with any color in the palette for a feminine look. Against neutrals, luscious Cantaloupe is warm and nurturing - a great addition to any wardrobe, especially when paired with chocolate browns.

Glitzy Sliver Gray has a sheen reminiscent of the popular metallics that add a touch of excitement to any outfit. With its beautiful undertones, Croissant is a delicious base for spring's more exciting accents. Trans-seasonal Golden Olive is another distinctive staple and tasteful accompaniment to 2008's newest shades.

From www.pantone.com

Thoughts on DIY bouquets and arrangements

Although most of my clients are not DIY-ers in the floral department, I have come across 2 extreme scenarios that I want to share with you. The first scenario, the DIY bride did a good job of planning on floral assemble requirements; the second, not so much.

Bride #1 had very minimal floral needs. She wasn't big into flowers and they were not high on her priority list. She was not doing flowers for the centerpieces so she really only had a few bridesmaids bouquets, some boutonnieres and simple arrangements for the church. She practiced making her flowers a few months before her wedding. Once the yellow roses arrived on the Thursday before the wedding, she got to working on them all day. By Friday morning, only a few bouquets were left to do. She was done in plenty of time for the rehearsal. No rushing around. She really did a great job and there was so little floral setup.

Bride #2 was a designer so she clearly had a good artistic vision for what she wanted. There were a lot of flowers to put together though. There were 15 tables worth of centerpieces, bouquets, bountonnieres, corsages, ceremony arrangements, chair posies, cocktail table arrangements, etc. The red roses arrived on Thursday. Came Saturday morning, the bride had to go to her hair and makeup appointments and left the remaining arrangements to her sister. Her sister was clearly stressed. The centerpieces came out great - half short arrangements and half tall (trumpet vases). However, the tall arrangements took forever to set up because they had to be filled with water which took many trips to the bathroom (kitchen was too crowded). The boutonnieres were huge and lacked the refinement a professional would have been able to do. Also, some of the thorns were not removed so they were a hazard to anyone handling them.

Before you commit yourself to doing your own personal flowers and arrangements, ask yourself these questions:

• Why do you want to do your own flowers? If you are not a flowers person, why have any flowers at all? There are plenty of other decor options. Is it because of budgetary reasons? There are plenty of options at any budget level.
  
• When will you be putting the arrangements together? Will you have enough time? Will you have time to practice? Will you have any help? Do your helpers have any experience in flower arranging?
  
• Do you have a place that can be kept very cold when the flowers arrive from the wholesaler? (like the freezer at the flower shop)
• Do you know how long it will take to put the arrangements together?
• How will you transport the arrangements to your venue? Flowers kept in buckets of water? not in water?Who will transport the arrangements?
• Once at the venue, do they require assembly? Who will assemble them? Is this person reliable? Most venues will not do this for you. How long will it take to assemble them? Does the person you have designated know how to assemble them?
• What if a vase is broken during transport? What if you forgot a vase? Forgot an arrangement? Realized you miscounted? Short a boutonniere.
  
• At the end of the night, what will become of all the flowers and vases? Are you taking them all home? Who will break them down so that they can be transported?

If after looking through this list of questions you are able to come up with a plan that makes sense and will not cause more stress, here are some pointers to consider:

• Aim to have everything else you need to do for the wedding DONE by the weekend before the wedding. I mean EVERYTHING - programs, table assignments, escort cards, packing. Couples underestimate how hectic the week before the wedding can get. Once your relatives and friends are in town, they ALL want to see you. They ALL want to have drinks, dinner, lunch, breakfast with you every day. Maybe you have to make some runs to the airport. Think hard about how you want to spend your time the week of the wedding.
  
• It always takes longer to do the arrangements than you realize. Allot AT LEAST one and a half days for this. Allow time for making mistakes, or trying a different method.
  
• ALWAYS do practice bouquets, boutonnieres, and arrangements ahead of time. Buy flowers from your local grocery story and practice. Have someone with some experience of arranging flowers and doing bouquets look at your work. Maybe take a class. Don't forget to account for the cost of the trial runs.
  
• Choose flowers that easy to work with, forgiving, and hardy. Roses are the most DIY friendly.
• Keep your floral requirements to a minimum. And I mean the fewer the better.
  

Activities for Your Guests

A Washington Post Sunday Source article from a few weeks ago talks about scavenger hunts, sports games, welcome parties and midnight snacks.

Daily Candy Fall 2007 Wedding Guide

Click here to read.

Weddings in NY

I was visiting my family in New York the weekend of July 21. While riding the Water Taxi, we spotted two couples getting married and taking pictures at the Brooklyn pier promenade, which has a spectacular view of the New York skyline.

I love this first photo. The little girl standing to the left of the bride and groom gets up close to see what's going on. She was mesmerized. I noticed the bride bent down to talk to her later. How cute.

It was a beautiful weekend in NY - temperature in the low 80s. The bridesmaids wore this emerald green dress - interesting choice :)

Favors Idea

One of my childhood friends got married in October. She had gotten these Thai silk boxes and inside each box was either a chocolate shoe (she loves shoes) or a chocolate punter (groom was a punter on his football team ). Cute huh?

Wedding Songs

OK - it's 1:40AM and I'm supposed to be finishing up a paper due today. I'm taking a 'break' :)
I'm also listening to a Michel Buble CD and got to thinking that some of you might find a list of wedding songs I've heard to be useful. Here is the start (check back for updates):

Introductions
Let's Get this Party Started, Pink
Crazy in Love, Beyonce (for bride and groom)
The Best is Yet to Come, Sinatra
Let's Get it Started in Here, Black Eye Peas
Another One Bites the Dust, Queen (for bride and groom)
Can't Get Enough of Your Love Baby, Barry white
This Will Be,

First Dance
Sway, Michael Buble (a great cha-cha)
The Way you Look Tonight, Michael Buble (a Rumba or Fox Trot)
Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts (slow - not a big country music fan but this song I like)
Someone to Watch Over Me, Sting (slow - one of my all time favorites)
Come Away with Me, Norah Jones
Just the Way You Are, Billy Joel
You Mean the World to Me, Toni Braxton
When Somebody Loves You, Frank Sinatra
By Your Side, Sade
At Last, Etta James or Celine Dion
Me & You, Kenny Chesney
All We Ever Find, Tim McGraw
You and Me, Lighthouse
Stay with You, John Legend
The Best is Yet to Come, Sinatra
Unforgettable
So Happy Together, Turtles

Parents Dance
Fernando, ABBA (no joke - it was a song the bride and her Dad used to sing along to during family road trips. All the guests, and your truly, sang along as they danced. It was awesome!)
You Raise Me Up, Josh Groban (This is the new "Wind Beneath my Wings")
Buttefly Kisses, Bob Carlisle
Wind Beneath my Wings, Bette Midler
Unforgettable, Natalie and Nat King Cole
Sunrise, Sunset, Soundtrack to Fiddler on the Roof
Can't Smile without You, Barry Manilow
Daddy's Little Girl, Al Martino
What a Wonderful World, Louis Armstrong
I Love Her First, Heartland
A Song for Mama, BoyzIIMen
You Are the Sunshine of My Life,

Cake Cutting Song
It's Your Love, Faith Hill & Tim McGraw
LOVE, Nat King Cole
How Sweet it Is, James Taylor
This Magic Moment

Bouquet Toss
Let's Get Ready to Rumble
Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Cyndi Lauper

Getting the Garter
You can Leave Your Hat On, Joe Cocker

Garter Toss
Who Let the Dogs Out, Baha Men
You Sexy Thing
Sugar Pie Honey Bunch

Bouquet & Garter Winners
Let's Get it On, Marvin Gaye

Anniversary
It Had to Be You, Harry Connick, Jr
Can You Feel the Love Tonight, Elton John
Through the Year, Kenny Rogers

Last Dance
Never Say Goodbye, Bon Jovi (great for an 80s music theme)
Last Dance, Donna Summer (appropriately titled)
At Last, Etta James
Save the Best for Last, Vanessa Williams
Wonderful Tonight, Eric Clapton
Just in Time, Dean Martin
Sweet Caroline, Neil Diamond
Stand by Me, Ben E. King