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Engaged! Now What? Part 4

No jumping ahead! If you haven't read Part 1 (the glow), Part 2 (the when), Part 3 (the how much), go back!

OK. Now that you know how much you have to spend, now what?

The guest list could be another tough item to tackle, although it doesn't have to be that way (oh did I mention that most of the difficult tasks happen up front?) My hubby and I hammered out our guest list in about one hour! We gave our parents guidelines on whom they could invite and they obliged, which helps a lot.

• With your budget in mind, come up with the number of guests you could comfortably host.
• Then, both of you make a list of people you want to invite. I would also ask your parents as to who they want to invite. Afterall, my parents had friends they had known their whole adult lives and have also known me since I was a thought in my parents' mind. They are almost family!
• Now if this master list of guests has a higher count than your ideal numbers, start trimming. This is where it gets tricky. You need to set some rules for yourselves on whom to keep and whom to cut. Some advice I had given in the past:
• Joe Smith and Guest. Only invite significant others that a) you know the name of; b) your friend is married to; or c) you've met. The only except I would make is for the wedding party. The way I rationalize it is that why should I pay $100+ per person for someone I don't know.
• Your colleagues. If you invite one, do you have to invite them all? I say, if you hang out with them outside of work, then you can invite them. The only exception I would make is for your bosses.
• Your parents' guests. The conversation with both sets of parents has to happen, like it or not, sooner rather than later. You might need to give them a limit on how many tables they can have.
  
• Kids - Maybe you want an adult only reception. Maybe only relatives can bring kids. There might be people who won't come unless they can bring their children. This one is tough.
  
• Be realistic about your invitees. When was the last time you had contact with someone? How close are you to them?
  
• OK. THIS IS YOUR LIST. That's right. One list. No A list, B list, C list. If people didn't make it onto your A list, they know. I've been on a B list before and I could tell based on how late I received the invitation.

Always a Bridesmaids blog has a helpful entry on what to do with a growing guest list caused by others and how to handle sticker shock.

We're off for the weekend to work at an event but will be back Monday to discuss finding a venue!

Engaged! Now What? Part 3

Go back and read Part 1 and Part 2.

Now that you've thought about when you want to get married, now what?

Let's talk about budget. Yes. That's right. Budget. No - you are not allow to jump ahead and start searching for the perfect venue or the dream dress. Sorry! Nobody likes to talk about money but setting up a budget is the basis for planning a successful wedding and for setting the boundaries for all the decisions you are about to make during the planning process. There are lots of articles on this topic like this one so I'm just going to highlight a few here.

Research
You need to educate yourselves to get a grasp on how much a wedding would cost in your area. As the standard of living varies from state to state, so does the cost of having a wedding. Here is a nifty calculator that gives you an idea of the cost by zip code. (It says the average in my zip code 22213 is $65k). Here is a blog entry on what costs to consider for each element of a wedding. You can also start researching vendors you like online and some will have their pricing listed. There is also nothing wrong with asking your married friends if you are comfortable about it.

Sources
Once you have an idea of how much things will cost, look at your personal finances to see if what you have in mind is doable. Also, it is important to establish early on who will be contributing, for how much, and towards what item. Although this is often an uncomfortable conversation to have with your family, it is much easy to talk about now than later in the game. The Always a Bridesmaid Blog addresses how to approach the subject with your parents.

Prioritizing and Managing (basically, what this whole planning process is all about)
When you have determined how big of a pot you have to work with, now prioritize each element of the wedding. List the top 3-5 items and rank them in order of importance. For example, my hubby and I wanted a venue close to our house but had a unique quality about it so venue was our #1, followed closely by catering since we love to eat. Knowing your priority, you can start assigning budgets to each item with those ranking highest in priority getting the bulk of your budget. You can find various tracking tools online on wedding websites and even at Microsoft templates. Be sure to account for all the little things people tend to forget about because they will add up. In one of last week's Washington Post business section, Michelle Singletary, the author of the weekly column The Color of Money, wrote Your Big Fat Foolish Wedding about dealing smartly with your wedding budget.

Well, it's no fun to have a party with nobody to party with! Tomorrow, we'll discuss the dreaded guest list!

Ever wonder about Kickbacks & Commissions?

Ever wonder if your wedding vendors are receiving kickbacks or commissions for a referral? Liene at Blue Orchid Designs has an eye-opening article about this subject on her blog. Be sure to read the comments as they provide more interesting tidbits on this subject.

At event accomplished, we do not receive kickbacks or commissions when we refer a vendor to you. I don't believe in the concept of "pay to play." Our main focus is finding vendors that best fit your needs, not ours. When we send you a referral, it is because we believe that the vendors deliver high quality products and services which meet your specific needs. Sometimes, vendors will offer me a discount. In turn, I pass that savings onto you. We want to be as transparent with our operations as possible. So feel free to ask us anything, anytime.

Engaged! Now What? Part 2

Back up if you missed Part 1.

Now that you are sufficiently basking in the glow of your engagement (yay!), are you sick of the twenty questions your friends are asking you about the wedding?

Now what?

Let's talk about when you will have the wedding. There are many factors to consider here.

• Are there personal events you need to work around? For example, I had several clients who were graduating or starting graduate school so they had to work around the academic calendar. This was the case for me. I was starting business school in September and knew that I wanted to have the wedding before school started.
• Do you have a job that is seasonal and is extremely busy during a certain time of the year?
• Are there cultural issues to consider? In the Chinese culture, engaged couples consult a calendar of dates based on their birth dates to determine an auspicious date to wed. Hence, I got married on a Saturday in July.
• Have you always dreamt of having an outdoor wedding under a tent? I don't need to tell you about the heat and humidity in the DC area during the summer months. Spring or fall might be a better time for an outdoor celebration.
• Not too picky on a date? Having everything indoors? Consider getting hitched in the slower months like January-March and July-August. Venues often have discounted rates during these months.
• Have many out-of-town guests? Wouldn't it be nice to have it over a holiday weekend so that your guests can enjoy all that the DC area has to offer? Think twice. Air travel prices are usually and some hotel rates are higher during holiday weekends. Some wedding professionals charge more for holiday weekends as well, especially during Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. Be careful choosing a wedding date during holy days like Easter as churches will have a lot going on at that time.

Once you have narrowed down the time frame, I would suggest you run it by your immediate families and even your bridesmaids and groomsmen. Now, choose a few dates.

Now you know the when, let's figure out the where. Stay tuned tomorrow on finding your ideal venue!

[photo from brides.com]

Engaged! Now What? Part 1

I met at bride at Brides Against Breast Cancer Gown Sale on Friday who had just gotten engaged the previous Saturday and she was already there trying on dresses! That got me thinking to post some quick tidbits for you newly engaged! (Congratulations, by the way)

So now what??

Step 1: Enjoy being engaged! After years of dating, it's now your turn! All those times you oo'd and ahhh'd over somebody else's engagement ring and aww'd over how the guy proposed, now you'll know what it feels like! But seriously, what's the hurry in starting those wedding plans? I actually hated this part. My hubby and I had been dating for 6 years. We had worn out our friends who kept asking us when we were getting married that they just stopped asking. When we got engaged, there was no big proposal. We just decided it was time to throw a big party! So when I started sporting my engagement ring, I just dreaded having to say that I didn't have a cool proposal story to tell. However, I did love showing off my engagement ring! :)

Relax! Soak it in! And if you are itching to start planning, I'll share Part 2 tomorrow.

More behind the scenes photos from BABC Gown Sale

Day 2 of the Brides Against Breast Cancer Gown Sale at the Tysons Crown Plaza Hotel. Read Day 1 experience.

Day 2: even busier than Day 1. It was Good Friday and suspect quite a few people had the day off. As soon as the doors opened at 10am, I was busy helping brides find their dream dress. At one point, I had 3 brides at my station! Yikes! My fingers hurt from pulling up all the zippers.

Above: one of the quilts for sale that was made with fabric swatches from different wedding gowns!

Above: Signature Wedding Aisle Runners set up a mockup aisle so the brides could really get the feel for what the big day would be like.

Overall, I had a great time volunteering at this event and it is such a worthy cause. I would definitely do it again next year! Happy Easter everyone!

Behind the Scenes at Brides Against Breast Cancer Gown Sale (ongoing this weekend)

I volunteered this evening at the opening VIP event for Brides Against Breast Cancer Gown Sale and thought I'd share some photos with you. But more importantly, the gown sale is happening Friday and Saturday. Don't miss this opportunity to find a dress for your big day at deep discounts while supporting a worthy cause! I'll be back Friday morning. Stop by and say hi!

The lobby of the Tysons Corner Crown Plaza Hotel (formerly the Holiday Inn) where brides checked in.


The ballroom full of dresses. There are sizes for everybody and in different styles. Gowns were donated from various sources. Some were donated from local salons like Hannelore's of Old Town Alexandria. Its owner, Pamela stopped by to lend advice on how to alter the dresses and what styles looked good.


The dressing room where I was all night helping brides try on dresses! It was a lot of fun. There is plenty of room and lots of volunteers and you don't have to strip down in your skivvies in front of everybody like at Filene's crazy Running of the Brides.


The check-out desk where the reality of having "the dress" sets in.


Some of the tiaras. There are also plenty of veils for sale and that you can try on with your dress.


Couture gowns like this one by Lazaro are sold at deep discounts. There was a Reem Acra gown. I saw so many gorgeous dresses sold at prices you won't be able to get anywhere else! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Me and Marc Wilner from Bialek's Music who provided the music for the evening. Tony Brown from Imijination Photography donated his time for documenting this event and also did bridal portraits for several brides. Tony photographed one of my weddings in 2006.

What: Brides Against Breast Cancer Gown Sale, a fundraising event for Making Memories Breast Cancer Foundation
When: Friday, March 21, 10 am - 8 pm & Saturday, March 22, 10 am - 6 pm Free Admission
Where: Crowne Plaza Tyson's Corner 1960 Chain Bridge Road, Mclean, VA (formerly the Holiday Inn)

Click here for my original post on how the proceeds from this sale will be used.

Modern Venues: Part 2 -- Equality Center

Did you miss Part 1 of my search for more modern, industrial style venues in the DC area?

My search last week led me to the Equality Center in NW DC at the corner of 17th St and Rhode Island Ave.

Above: exterior of the building.


Above: the Equality Forum which can hold up to 150 for a seated dinner. The white wall provides a blank canvas, perfect for color uplights (see rear of room). The floor-to-ceiling windows on the right provides abundant natural light. Above Photo courtesy of Todd Smith Photography for ISES.


Above: Conference Rooms A-C. Separated by glass doors, this room can be used for a wedding ceremony. These 3 rooms together can seat about 100 people.


Above: another view of the Equality Forum. There is a built-in bar in the rear of the room by the patio. The modern furniture is included in the rental fee.


Above: the outdoor patio that would be great for cocktails.


Above: the entrance for private events. The 3 glass panels to the right of the "equality" sign pivots to allow entrance into the Equality Forum space.

Stay tuned! The search continues!

Married People Live Longer!!

Yes! I knew there was a benefit to getting married! (kidding, honey). In this past Sunday's Parade Magazine, an article on "How to Live to 100" states

that A 2006 study from the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health showed that never-married people were 58 percent more likely to die earlier than an age-matched group of married people. Divorced or separated people were 27 percent more likely to die earlier than married people. [Link to article]

Now go and get hitched!

Green Scene Series: Limos, Leftover Food, Packaging

More ideas on how to have a more eco-friendly event:

Transportation: There are so simple ways to get your guests/attendees to and from your venues in an eco-friendly manner.
- Choose only one venue. This eliminates the need to travel between locations and eliminates car trips.
- If you need to hold your event at more than one location, consider locations that are Metro accessible. Provide Metro maps and detail directions to your guests to make their mass transit experience more pleasant.
- If you are not able to choose mass transit accessible locations, encourage your guests to carpool (always great as an end-of-evening option for safety reasons). Or, provide buses to transport your guests.
- If you are hiring a transportation company, consider ones that provide alternative-fuel vehicles. EcoLimo, a car service company based in California, just opened a new branch in DC. Among its fleet of cars is a bio-diesel fueld Ford Excursion that seats up to 9 people.

Donate Leftovers: If there is a lot of leftover food, please ask your caterer if you can donate the food to DC Central Kitchen who will also come and pick up the food.
You can also donate floral arrangements to a local hospital or nursing home. I'm sure the recipients would love them!

Reduce Packaging: One of the biggest contributor to waste is packaging so think about ways to reduce the use of packaging. For example, serve water in pitchers or in pretty glass dispensers instead of individual bottles. You can have some bottles on hand so you can give them out upon request. Buy larger bottles of sodas and mixers instead of individual small cans. If you are doing a snack bar, you can serve popcorn or pretzels in big bowls instead of individual bags.

Event Accomplished in DESTINATION i do Magazine!

Extra, extra! Read all about it! We are so excited to be featured in the Spring 2008 issue of Destination I Do Magazine, "the travel publication for engaged couples and romantic travelers." The magazine has a spread on Heather & Moses' wedding in Leesburg, VA.

Modern Venues: Part 1 -- Industrial Style Venues

Lately, I've had clients who need help looking for venues wanting something industrial and modern. I think if we were in New York, it would be easy to find a loft that would fit the bill. In this area though, the choices are slim. The Torpedo Factory in Old Town Alexandria is a good choice, and although the Ronald Regan Building is modern, it is not quite industrial. So I went on a search for such a venue and found two that are close.

#1 - Metropolitan Center for the Visual Arts "VisArts" in Rockville, MD
The spaces available for rent for private events are located on the 2nd floor. There is the Event Room (that could seat up to 170 with floor-to-ceiling windows) and the art gallery. Along with the hallway, the space has an industrial, loft-like feel. Another selling point is a partially covered rooftop terrace which could accommodate 150 for reception. The rental includes a select number of tables and chairs.

Rooftop Terrace


Left: Hallway between Gallery & Event room which is flanked by artist studios (like at the Torpedo Factory) where you can have cocktail hour. Right: the Gallery with an ongoing exhibit.


The Event Room with a wood paneled acoustic ceiling.

#2 Signature Theatre Arlington (Shirlington)
The new home of Signature Theatre rents many of its spaces for private events, including the expansive Mead Lobby (which can seat up to 250) and its black box theatres.

Mead Lobby with its floor-to-ceiling windows and partially concrete floor.


Left: The modern lounge furniture. Right: The Ali Bar.

Stay tuned! We are going to keep searching. Other locations we will be reviewing: Strathmore Music Center & Harman Center for the Arts (just realizing there are lot of arts related spaces).

A Day in the Life ... Part 2

So yesterday, I started telling you about Part 1 of what last Saturday was like. Here is the continuing saga ....

When we left the story yesterday, it is 4:50pm and Bus #1 has curiously not shown up at the church yet ...

4:50pm -- Juanice, who is on Bus #1, left me a voicemail 5 minutes earlier saying that her bus is running late (slightly lost) but should be there within 10 minutes. Let Reverend and bridal party know we are running a few minutes behind.

4:55pm - Bus #1 has finally arrived!

5:00pm - Line everybody up.

5:05pm - The processional begins! 5 minutes off. I'll take that. I leave Juanice in charge of the church and I am off to the reception. Call to see how setup is going at reception with Christina. She's almost done. Caterer wants to talk to me to confer on cake flowers placement. Will have to wait until I arrive.

5:35pm - Juanice calls to say the ceremony is over and Bus #1 is on its way! Wow that was fast! I park quickly, say hello to the valet guys, hop in the slow elevator, inform the caterer of the impending guest arrival. Let's check out the cake situation. The room looks awesome! I say hi to DJ Matt and told him I'll confer with him in a few minutes.


5:45pm - Juanice calls to say Bus #2 has departed and the bridal party is done with pictures. I take 5 minutes go through my setup check list. Everything is in order.

6:10pm - both buses have arrived. get on bus and make sure nothing is left behind. tip bus drivers and send them off. Juanice calls to say bride and groom photos are done and everyone is departing the church.

6:40pm - Juanice arrives at ToTT. Photographer wants to do some night shots with the DC skyline in the background. Bride wants to change shoes, get bustled and take off veil first. Oh and eat 2 bites and a drink.

7:00pm - DJ asks everyone to take their seats and let's get the introductions rolling! We are right on schedule. First dance. Awww, bride and groom are so cute and happy!

7:10pm -- dinner starts. I tidy up the escort card and gift tables. Move gifts to facility manager's office for safe keeping. Get dinner for photographers and DJ. Got asked for the 3rd time how a Penn engineering grad become a wedding planner!

8:00pm -- time for father/daughter and mother/son dance. Warn father of the bride and mother of the groom. Give bride and groom heads up. They want to visit 2 more tables. The guests are getting antsy but no problem. Confer with DJ. DJ suggested maybe we should do the dances, cake cutting and toast all back to back. Let's play it by ear and see how it works out.

8:20pm -- bride and groom are finally at their last table. Confer with DJ. Let's do as he suggested. Tell caterer to pass champagne and inform the captain of the change of plans. Inform best man of the change of plans. Finally, we do the cake cutting, best man toast, and parents dances. Let the dancing begin (2o minutes late but that's OK)!

8:30pm -- put out the Tastee Cake favors on the gift table. Finally, I get to eat dinner and drink another Coke. After a short break, start packing up the gifts, tidy up the bride's belongings.

9:15pm -- check to make sure the shuttle bus has arrived. Inform DJ to make announcement.

9:30pm -- time for bouquet toss. Confer w/ DJ. He's got a good crowd going on the dance floor. Let's play another song. Perfect. Bride and groom wants 5 minutes to themselves anyway.

9:40pm -- bouquet toss and last song is coming up.

9:50pm -- Thank you and good night! Get bride and groom into getaway car with leftover food.

10:30pm -- the last guests finally leave and I release the valet. Break down starts. Took 3 trips to take all the decor and presents down to my car in between the rental company picking up the rented chairs. After a two-hour, slow and tedious break down (ToTT has only one small and very slow elevator used by all vendors) in blustery (40mph winds) and cold weather, I finally got home about 12:45am. My car was packed to the gills. I bring in the leftover cake, perishable items and jam them into my fridge. Also bring in other valuables. I can't feel my feet. Caught the last few minutes of Saturday Night Live. I'm out like a light.

Next day ...

I slept in until 10am. Make breakfast for me and hubby. Take long and hot shower. My feet still hurt.

Ugh. Got to unpack, clean, and store all the candles from last night (photo is box 1 of 3). Go through my emergency bag and see what is missing (something is always missing/lost/given to someone earlier in the day).

5pm .... Time to drive to bride's parents home to unload all the gifts and decor out of my trunk - not to mention 3 trays of leftover cake.

That's all folks! I'm tired from just typing about my day! Phew! Hope you enjoyed it!

A Day in the Life ... Part 1

Laura at Soiree Special Events and Saundra at Planning Forever Events have both shared a day in their lives on their blogs. Let me share with you what my day was like this past Saturday ...

9:00am -- shower, eat breakfast, pack a few more items, double check contents of my emergency bag, pack my camera, load up my car, make a nice lunch for me and hubby (so he's not mad I'm gone all day on a Saturday), change, log my starting mileage.

12:30pm -- on my way into the Hilton Garden Inn, double check that the lunch for the bridal party is set up. Check in with the bride and her bridesmaids; the groom and his groomsmen. Girls are getting their hair done and watching some MTV show hosted by Mario Lopez. Guys are eating lunch. Bride looks relaxed. Good.

1:30pm -- Get the Tastee Cakes favors from bride's car in hotel garage.

1:45pm-2:15pm -- unload my car and drop off all reception decor at Top of the Town. The wind is now blowing at 40mph+. My small boxes are blowing off my cart!!! I'm so happy I bought this new hand truck! 2 trips should do it!

2:30pm -- back at the hotel. Tell bridesmaids to get dress. Confer with photographer on our strategy for post-ceremony photos. Bring assistant photographer to groom's room. What do you mean 2 of the groomsmen have not arrived?? When they arrived, I gave them a piece of my mind ... albeit I said it nicely!

3:00pm -- on my way out, I see the limo driver. I introduce myself. He's good to go. I call my assistant Christina to let her know the limo has arrived. She will check in with the bride in her room. Valet supervisor calls to say he is in place at Top of the Town. Excellent. I hope the cops don't pull me over for talking on the cell phone in DC!!! On to the church.

3:30pm -- Say hello to the Reverend. What do you mean he hasn't seen the florist?? Christina calls to say the limo is on its way with the bridal party + groom. Excellent. Setup unity candle and programs. Florist delivery guys finally here. Bus driver #1 calls to say he has arrived at Top of the Town. Juanice, assistant #2, has met up with the valet but where did the bus go?? (parked elsewhere because not allowed to idle in front of ToTT). Facility manager calls to say that the guests have come inside while waiting for the bus because it was so cold outside and are now in the way of the caterers loading in. Ugh!! Call Bus #1 to go pick up the guests at ToTT but turn off engine once there. Inform Juanice about the situation. Crisis avoided.

4:00pm -- String quartet lead arrives. We confer on the order of the processional. 5-minute conversation. Easy. Done. Parents, bridal party + groom arrive. I get everybody's personal flowers distributed.

4:10pm -- groom's photos begin. Christina calls to say the bride & MOH are on their way (a little late but OK) and Bus #2 has left the hotel with guests. Excellent!

4:15pm -- Bus #1 departs with guests from ToTT.

4:30pm -- bride arrives. Make sure groom is not looking this way! Run! Groom's photos are finished. Photographer wants to do bride's photos with her parents and grandma. Quarantine groom. Get bride. Hurry before the guests arrive.

4:40pm -- guests from bus #2 arrives! Yikes! Bride is still taking photos. Groomsmen help to hold the guest in the lobby. Close the doors. Just need 2 more minutes. Pictures done. Bride goes to her room. Let the guests in!

4:50pm -- Bus #1 should have been here 5 minutes ago. Where is the bus????

Stay tune tomorrow to find out what happened to a bus load of guests somewhere in DC!

Opening the 2008 Wedding Season!

Congratulations to Katie & Rhys who tied the know this past Saturday, thus officially kicking off my 2008 wedding season!

• Ceremony Venue: Petworth United Methodist Church, DC
• Reception Venue: Top of the Town, Arlington, VA -- very accommodating and helpful staff.
• Floral Design: Art with Flowers, McLean, VA
• Ceremony Music: Celebrated String Quartet -- it's always a pleasure working with this group.
• Reception Music: DJ Matt Fulgham -- only works at ToTT. Super easy going and easy to work with.
• Catering: Design Cuisine - Excellent service, food, and presentation.
• Rentals: DC Rentals
• Transportation: Reston Limo & Atlantic Valet -- Katie & her Mom expressed at our very first meeting that transportation was the most important element in providing a pleasant experience for their guests because there is only street parking at the church (not to mention the difficult routing). Reston Limo did a superb job providing two 55-passenger buses for all the guests and transportation for the bridal party and the bride and groom. Nobody got lost and everybody got to where they were suppose to go more or less on time.) A shuttle bus was also provided at the end of the evening so everyone could get back safely.
  
• Photography: Ever After Images --Can't wait to see the pictures.
  

Front door wreaths welcoming the guests to the church. The church was built by the bride's great, great grandfather.

My awesome assistant Christina meticulously straightening out the rows of escort cards. The table was simply decorated by two potted orchids.

Why people love to rent this room! A treat for visiting friends and family.

The beautiful room during set up. The calm before the storm!!

A classy table setting not overdone. And it passes my purse test! The cream colored pintuck mixed with the red silky napkins give the table some texture.

The cake table was highlighted with a bronze colored pintuck tablecloth.

Katie and Rhys lived in Philadelphia just until recently so their wedding paid tribute to the City of Brotherly love. Tastee Cakes served as favors and a sweet ending to the evening. Mini cheesesteaks started the night.

eaTip: When choosing ceremony and reception venues and guest hotels, consider how your guests will travel between the various locations. If you have a lot of guests coming in from afar, make it easy on them so that they don't have to rent a car or risk the chance of getting lose between locations. I would suggest that if at all possible to consider venues that are Metro accessible or have your ceremony and reception in one location. Or like Katie & Rhys, provide transportation. Your guests will appreciate the hospitable gesture and will enjoy themselves much more!